13 Unexpected Ways to Spark a Creative Breakthrough

Recently, I was up past my bedtime, complaining to my husband Michael (who was trying to go to sleep) about feeling blocked and simultaneously aching for the world when he said:

“You need to become your own client.”

He was right. But I don’t like admitting I’m stuck so I said — “Of course! I’m always coaching myself.”

“Is it working?” He laughed. I didn’t. Thank God we took a vow of honesty.

“What if you really took your own advice?”

His question got me thinking about all the ways I wasn’t giving myself space to be in a creative process. All the ways I was pressuring myself to have the answer before I stumbled inside of the question. All the ways I was overfocusing on whether it will be good and whether people will like the thing/me and underfocusing on the expression itself.

All the ways I became a mother and stopped giving myself space to roam. All the ways I wasn’t letting myself take risks. All the ways I was trying to make sense of our political crisis by obsessing instead of acting. All the ways I was demanding my creativity produce something beautiful and truthful without letting her first be wild and messy.

All the ways I was trying to force myself to be a linear duck.

So I took Michael’s advice. Literally. I imagined a conversation between myself as a client and myself as a coach in a live coaching session and transcribed it in a google doc!?!

Here’s the imagined coaching conversation between me and me. I didn’t go back and edit much of the coaching or the responses because I wanted it to have the feel of a live coaching session – I didn’t want to hold back as either coach or client. For better or for worse, you tell me!

 

ACT ONE: SHIFT

COACH LIZ: Where would you like to begin?

LK: I think I’m having a midlife crisis. I’m trying to rebrand it as an awakening. But it feels like a crisis. It does feel like a part of me has died. And I am waiting for the new self to emerge and she’s still a mystery to me. Like she is close, somehow, but she is behind a curtain and I keep trying to pull it back and I can’t. I am wearing clothes I used to wear and trying to write blogs like I used to and trying to plan Q3 and Q4 but none of it feels like it fits right. So the result is that I feel pretty creatively blocked.

COACH LIZ: We might consider this a sign you are on the verge of breaking through something. When things that once worked no longer work.

LK: That’s comforting.

COACH LIZ: Tell me more about the block. How long has it been going on?

LK: Honestly since Mila was born. So 2 years. On and off. But it’s been really hard to come out of. I can’t really find my enthusiasm. Between clients and kids it feels like it feels like time is always a strain. But even when I find the space it’s like I’m yearning for something I can’t articulate.

COACH LIZ: What would a breakthrough look like? Dream expansively here.

LK: To feel more free. To feel more alive. To get out from under motherhood somehow and find my old/new self. And then rise like a g-damn phoenix. And stop worrying that the kids will get sick when I do.

COACH LIZ: What’s it like to feel blocked right now?

LK: Agonizing. Maddening. Because I know better. But I also feel like it doesn’t even matter because facism is destroying our country. My little creative problems feel insignificant.

COACH LIZ: And what if they weren’t? Insignificant, I mean.

LK: Well—

COACH LIZ: Isn’t that what you believe? Quoting your website here: women’s creative voices are one of the most under-supported natural resources we have to build a more beautiful and just world. Why are you so attached to supporting everyone else while staying undersupported yourself?

LK: I guess because that’s a pattern I inherited from my artist mother. Maybe it feels like home, somehow.

COACH LIZ: Who are you without this pattern?

LK: I’m realizing I feel like allowing myself to be supported is somehow betraying my mother. Because she didn’t get enough support.

COACH LIZ: This feels important. What are you feeling now?

LK: Actually calm. It feels sort of beautiful to include myself in my vision for the world. Coach Liz smiles.

 

____________

 

ACT TWO: IN IT

COACH LIZ: Who would you be without the block?

LK: Free. Me. I really need to clear it. Like yesterday. I need to stick to the creative schedule I’ve created.

COACH LIZ: What if you didn’t have to clear it? I mean that’s the obvious move, isn’t it. We could clear the block but we could also move around it. I’m wondering if there is something else here. How’s your creative inspiration?

LK: …

COACH LIZ: Seems like this needs attention.

LK: I just feel like my own creative inspiration is so low on the priority list when democracy is collapsing.

COACH LIZ: I’m not saying our political crisis isn’t a deeply urgent and important matter, but what if your creative health mattered too? A both/and. Imagine with me. If you felt inspired again, what would you do?

LK: I would be more creatively fearless. I would worry less about algorithms. I would somehow break out of this impossible pressure to make successful things that every single person likes. I would create because it feels good.

COACH LIZ: And how would that feel?

LK: Alive. Like progress. Less grim.

COACH LIZ: Tell me about your creative room. What’s your interior life like when you’re trying to create?

LK: It’s better than it used to be thanks to the EMDR. But that Inner Critic/Tiny Terrorist is… still showing up. It’s like it got exponentially crueler when I became a mother.

COACH LIZ: What does the Tiny Terrorist say while you’re trying to work?

LK: You know…No one is going to like this. This won’t help people. You’ll offend a family member. Or anyone. You should be caring for your kids right now.

COACH LIZ: What else?

LK: I’m embarrassed – given that this is MY JOB, but that I’m still hearing this stuff after so many years.

COACH LIZ: I hear you. Go on. Fear expressed allows relief — f.e.a.r.

LK: That’s good. Okay…Your book should be written by now. You’re a coach and you can’t get rid of me so you must not be a very good coach. Whatever you produce will not be worth the price of the childcare it takes to create it. Your best work is behind you. Your world is so mundane. You’re covered in pee. No one wants to hear from you. The world is crumbling and you’re not doing enough to fight tyranny.

COACH LIZ: Just curious: how do you know you’re doing enough?

A moment.

LK: I don’t know. It’s just a feeling. I should be doing more. I want to be doing more.

COACH LIZ: I get that. It’s really hard to stay focused on anything right now, or to know what to do. No wonder you’re blocked. What if you could be creatively fearless though. In spite of it all. In both your work and as part of the resistance?

LK: I deeply want this.

COACH LIZ: So The Tiny Terrorist has hijacked your creative room. One part of you has known this but another part of you has normalized it. It’s impossible to work in this room. It’s anti-creative. Just like Facism. Yes? But its presence is significant because it shows up in full force when we’re trying to expand.

LK: I do feel that I am trying to expand. I just can’t quite grasp what this expansion is. It’s definitely nonlinear. It feels unknown.

COACH LIZ: Sounds like real expansion. Would you be willing to accept the unknown here? Like befriend it without trying to change it?

LK: Make the unknown my bestie. I can do that.

Act Three: BENEVOLENCE

COACH LIZ: I’m wondering if there are any parts who can support your process?

LK: I call them the three women called God – a young girl, a mother, a crone. Former/Future mes. They are always on the beach wearing flowy fabrics.

COACH LIZ: I love them. Would you be able to connect with them now?

LK: Yes. They always want to talk to me.

COACH LIZ: What do they want you to know about what we’re talking about?

LK: They say we love you and we will always love you. They say I am loved regardless of what I do or become.

COACH LIZ: I’m moved by that. Anything else they want to share?

LK: I feel in awe of their loving presence. It feels like the sky is opening up, somehow. They say to invite them to the creative process. We will help you and you don’t have to worry so much.

COACH LIZ: I’m so grateful to them for showing up today. I’d like you to invite them into your creative room as much as possible. For today — how do you want to integrate this conversation?

LK: I will send a newsletter this month and I will work on the book 5X a week for 30 minutes after my Creative15.

COACH LIZ: Does that feel inspiring?

LK: It feels like what I need to do.

COACH LIZ: What if you committed to something that inspires you? Without the pressure of producing. It’s counterintuitive, but sometimes that is actually more effective than accountability for getting things moving again. Thoughts?

LK: Like dancing.

COACH LIZ: Dancing.

LK: I went to a class last night.

COACH LIZ: And?

LK cries unexpectedly.

LK: It’s intensely joyful. Complicated too because it’s hard to rationalize spending the time. But I feel undeniably like I need to be there. Like something is loosening. The women there are so kind. I need to go back.

COACH LIZ: Go to dance class Liz. Don’t force the writing. And get curious about the self behind the curtain. Consider that the unknown can be a source of power.

 

Whatever inspiration is, it’s born from a continuous form of “I don’t know.”

— Wislawa Symborska

This one small move shook up my process and resulted in a breakthrough I’ve been waiting to have. I feel unblocked and now I have new creative problems to solve. And it led to a new experiment I’m designing that I hope to share more about with you soon.

All because I just did one different and sort of weird thing. Thanks husband.

Let this be the Spring of the creative breakthrough. More experiments. Less pressure. Flow. Expansion. Joyful expression.

Even and especially when we are living in a world that is doing everything it can to keep us overwhelmed and underexpressed.

I’m sharing these 13 ways to spark a breakthrough because my hope is that one of them might spark something for you. If it does, hit reply and let me know.

13 Unexpected Ways to Spark a Creative Breakthrough

1. Reclaim benevolence in your process

Our truest creative work initiates in an ocean of kindness. To reclaim benevolence is to reclaim your creative power. Benevolence reminds us that our worth is not at stake in the creative process, and that the purpose of creativity is to express, not to prove. If you have a history of being hard on yourself, and/or if your early creative experiences were driven by pressure and shame, and/or if you feel heavy with internalizing the conditioning of patriarchy and white supremacy, this will take gentle practice. But welcoming benevolence back into your creative room is unbelievably worth it. And. Exercising benevolence right now — anywhere, and in any way — to yourself or to others — is a way of reclaiming power and humanity from the people trying to take it from us.

2. Reframe your Inner Critic as a compass

Here’s the reframe: Imagine our Inner Critics (or Tiny Terrorist as I like to call it) as a silent movie — as if we can turn the cruel sound/chatter off and all we see is them holding a sign that says KEEP GOING YOU’RE ONTO SOMETHING. That’s it. That’s the purpose of the Inner Critic. It shows up when you are trying to expand and express so its presence is a sign you are right where you need to be and its POV is not needed. Thank you Inner Critic. We’re cutting all your lines but if you just hold the sign you still get to be in the movie.

3. Make experiments, not ultimatums

Experiments initiate fresh waves of creativity like no other tool I know. They work because they serve as low-pressure containers for your curiosity, and catalyze new ideas and unexpected connections. As we progress in our creative lives, we are taught to resist experimentation because we become known for certain types of performance and results, and it can feel scary to move beyond what we can predictably achieve. One of the great paradoxes of a creative life is that we need our ability to achieve and our value of excellence to do the work we’re here to do, and we simultaneously need to evolve our relationship with achievement each time we want to expand creatively. The courage to keep experimenting throughout a career, project, life, or relationship breathes life into our entire ecosystem. The practice of experimentation must become more robust as we evolve, not less.

4. Stop trying to solve it

Curiosity works. Witnessing works. Playfulness works. Love works. One way to think of a block is an area that requires unconditional acceptance. So often, we don’t need to be solved, we need to be heard.

5. Remember that your relationship with creativity and productivity are not the same thing

Productivity leads to efficiency. Creativity leads to aliveness, awe, transcendence, unexpected solutions. Productivity will always keep you at the energetic level of the problem, while creativity will take you beyond, deeper, to a new and different place. Creativity is innate. Productivity is manmade. Creativity generates energy. Productivity depletes it. And here’s what’s key: productivity depends on your creativity but creativity does not need productivity.

6. Try stuff (Even if it’s uncomfortable)

Here’s a thought experiment: If you knew you couldn’t disappoint anyone, and you knew you couldn’t fail, and you had the resources to take care that you wouldn’t get burned out or depleted, what would you give yourself permission to try or explore? What’s so paradoxical about creative success is that bravely trying stuff can actually be a winning strategy. This is especially challenging in the “creator economy” when we’re taught to do what makes the algorithm happy and keep repeating it.

7. Get weird

Imagine Little You for a moment before socialization mucked up your creative process. We know how to do this in our bones. We just have to remember what it felt like before the external pressure. What is a part of yourself you were taught to label as too weird or too much or too whatever the culture told you to be and what happens when you bring her forth?

8. Immerse yourself in beauty and art

Inspiration is to your creative process like healthy food is to your life force. It is not an indulgent extra that we make space for only when we have the time. Usually we need to set up a detox from digital drains and focus on what inputs restore aliveness. I have found that for mid-career creative visionaries, tending to your inspiration is more powerful than accountability and is an essential (though often neglected) pillar of creative health, even and especially in times of moral and political crisis.

9. Embrace the both/and

Underneath creative block can be a need to claim that two things can be true. This usually means breaking free from a binary that systems of oppression need to trap us in for their survival. We are blocked because we desire to do our art and our activism. To mother and run a company. To feel masculine and feminine. To build generational wealth and experience creative freedom. The block belongs to the culture, not us. On a deep level, we are drawn to reclaiming both/ands throughout our lives because they are essential parts of our creative story — we were born to tell the story of this intersection. But we were told that we cannot be both, so we believe the lie that in order to be successful we need to stay in the box and choose. The breakthrough comes when we break the box. Both/and is the way out.

10. Don’t stay stuck alone

When in doubt, reach out. Without agenda or knowing exactly what to say. Just start talking to someone who is kind enough to listen and who hasn’t fallen asleep yet. Or to your Inner Coach who will listen forever. Conversations create openings. The bravery is in the asking.

11. Be very very curious about who you’re becoming

Or find a coach or friend or mentor or collaborator who is.

12. Welcome grief (and other shadows)

Grief shows up when we are expanding. Sometimes a need for forgiveness shows up, too.

13. Get out of the waiting room

The culture thrives when we stay in the waiting room — waiting to make sense, to be normal, to be ready, to be perfect, to be certain, to be healed, to be linear — so it can sell us products that will solve these problems for three easy payments. Or we can get out and remember that creativity requires none of those false promises to flourish.

We need your creative expression to help us birth this new world, and we need who you become as you bring it forth. Sometimes the breakthrough is simply recognizing that your creative gifts are very very needed.

____________

An Experiment for you:

Here’s an experiment to try that’s so easy and simple that you might be tempted to skip over it. If you’ve been feeling blocked, stuck, or, understandably, having a hard time finding creative flow amidst our collective grief — do a small experiment. Use the above list for inspiration. Just make one small shift or try one weirdish thing or disrupt a pattern. It can be anything. Don’t overthink it. Notice what happens.

Something to keep in mind: the catalyst of a breakthrough does not correlate to the size of a breakthrough. Small things lead to big things.

Keeping us creatively blocked is a tool of oppressive systems. Reclaiming our flow builds the power of creative resistance. I am holding a vision of you breaking through this spring, whatever that looks like for you, and I’m here to remind you that your decision to live a creative life amidst the chaos of tyranny is a brave one.

I’m so grateful for your presence and creative spirit. I’d love to hear from you. Send me a note if anything here resonates. To breakthroughs! Benevolence! And so much big love —

Liz